So I’ve learned quite the lesson due to the perpetual challenges 2020 has served this year…nothing can ever really truly be “planned” without surprises, life requires quite a bit of flexibility and be prepared to have expectations either lowered or completely derailed. I’m not suggesting that my perspective in life and the current road I am on is plagued by fog, darkness and creepy background noise. What I am suggesting is that the road we follow tends to curve, fork or in some cases be blocked and we are detoured. That is not to say that we are not headed to our mentally “intended” destination but rather that it is the landscape and topography that tend to be more noteworthy.
What do I mean by all the analogies? Well, I tend to hyperfocus on my destination, most cases, putting on blinders so I can focus straight ahead. When in motion, to have a clear vision of what my goal or endgame is keeps me mentally and physically motivated. The problem is that I can’t see peripherally and when I am thrown off course by circumstances, people, timing, I tend to feel the brunt of the detour, slowdown or road block in the most negative of mental terms. When faced with adversity, delay or a just plain “no”, I get anxious, depressed and hopeless because I didn’t account for, well, life. This can do a number on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing, particularly when faced with constant mental traffic snafus that have been the constant outcome since March of this year.
While I can say it is easy to tell others to push through and make lemonade out of lemons, that is completely missing the point. It is appropriate and acceptable to stop and own the loss, the disappointment, the frustration a change in plans or route can bring. We, as humans, tend to judge and shame people for “owning” their sadness, that they have a choice to “dwell” rather than just jumping back into the game. With anything that happens unexpected, there is a process of adjustment and grieving. Dreams are very important to our essence. Without the whimsy of want, desire and thought, what is the point of even getting up and greeting each new day. Life would solely be a function of existing and surviving, which does not represent the foundation of humanity. It is part of the process of overcoming setbacks, circling back our focus to our dream, expectation and desires and re-routing our path to continue our journey. How that landscape presents itself is up to you and you only. The vehicle that you use to make it to your destination, your decision. The power is within, embrace and honor it. Forge ahead and accept the forks as they come.
As this difficult year draws to a close, I am greeted with several forks in my life and mental road that I must consider: Do I go left or right? Do I take the straight or curved path? Do I just stop altogether and accept someone else’s vision of my life as my own. I am not alone in these mental debates as I know a number of people out there that are facing similar dilemmas. While it is so tempting to just throw my hands up, give up, accepting the preverbal fork as it pierces my subconscious, I know that is not the intended end of my travels. I will persevere as will my dreams, I just have to accept the windy road, its curves and hills and leave the blinders at home.
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